Doctrines of Men

The last few days have been another step in shedding the doctrines of men. 

This last week, I discovered an enlightening site, www.RecoveringGrace.org, developed for those coming out of the IBLP/ATI/Gothard sub-culture.  On initial inspection, I didn't think much of it, as I thought I had all those issues behind me (years behind me); my first thought was something like, "Wow!  Why didn't I think about reaching out?"  Honestly, during and after the shunning that I experienced coming out of ATIA, the thought never crossed my mind that others were leaving too, and finding a challenging road.  Maybe it was my immature selfishness at the time as I began to heal from the pain, or just the fact that I simply didn't know anyone else who had done it.  My life experience was divided into three groups: extended family, ATIA/IBLP, and everyone else (and my perception was that family & everyone else thought I was different/weird or didn't care about my struggles). 

Several months ago, I found No Longer Quivering (NLQ), and while this gave me the first hint that there were others, like me, who had turned from Gothard; I found that this site reaching out to those who had suffered far worse that I at the hands of their "authority."  Additionally, many had, in turning from Gothard, turned from Christianity entirely.  Given what I perceived to be the differences in experience and response, this site has not held my attention for long, though I wish them well in their goals to support women coming from spiritually abusive situations.

A few months back, I finally discarded all my old ATIA stuff, Wisdom Booklets, etc.  It was liberating but equally terrifying; and honestly, it still is...I know that I made the right decision, but years of earnest effort to achieve godliness...gone. 

Last week, tumbling upon RecoveringGrace, was life-changing.  After deeper exploration on their site, my world has been turned upside down...and that is never an easy experience.  I have read the experiences of children, like me, who have grown-up and discovered a life outside of ATI/Gothard.  I have realized over the last few days, that much of what I've been taught to believe about the Christian life is, at best, tainted with poor hermeneutics or, at worst, plain wrong...personally, I feel foolish, scared and a little overwhelmed.  While I had stripped away the outer wrapping of this lifestyle (ie.  I wear pants, went to college, have a career, listen to "rock music," etc) the innermost parts are deeply ingrained ruts in my mind.  I have found that I, too, need to recover grace...

I hope over the next several days/weeks to chronicle my study of grace, and possibly reviewing the "Basic Principles" in honest Biblical study for myself.  My goal is to help discover those ruts of thought that are wrong, and begin walking in the paths of Truth.