Grace, what is it?

I have personally always had a serious problem with the Christian definition of grace as "God's unmerited favor."  I've always viewed it as a cop-out, not sure why, but that was the way that I thought of it.  The definition that I first remember learning was from the "Basic Seminar" is that Grace is the desire and the power to do God's will.

The dictionary defines grace as 1) elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action; 2) a pleasing or attractive quality; 3) favor or goodwill; 4) manifestation of favor, typically from a superior; 5) mercy, clemency, pardon.

The first thing that I discover is that in the New Testament, there is only ONE word interpreted "grace."  This is charis, interestingly a feminine noun, meaning "graciousness of manner or act;" it is from chairo meaning "to be full of cheer."

I'm not sure why I resisted the definition of grace as God's unmerited favor, as I've thought about it over the last several days I think that is simply because I have been unwilling to acknowledge the simple beauty that the God of all creation, before time, extended his unmatchless favor to ME. 

I grew up a 5-point Calvinist.  I cut my teeth on TULIP, and that God's grace was irrestible.  Somehow, in my mind, the combination of this and Gothard's definition melded into a very odd amalgam.  Over the last week or so, I've realized that I have viewed grace a human response to the divine, rather than the other way around.  Don't ask me how, I'm just trying to explain something that really does NOT make sense...even to me, reading it now.

The first inkling that I had gotten grace all wrong was last year, in the New Member's Class at Black River Falls United Methodist Church.  It was there that I first heard of prevenient grace, the divine grace the precedes human decision.  It was at this moment, that I first reconsidered the concept of grace as God's unmerited favor.  Interestingly, on the matter of grace, I find fewer differences between Calvinism and Arminian teaching than I had been led to believe; but that is a discussion for another time...

So, now, stumbling upon RecoveringGrace, reading the testimonies there, a light in my mind began to shine on my humanistic concept of grace and I find on re-review of grace in the New Testament that grace is typically described as the gift of grace, grace of God, or His grace.  This leaves me with only one conclusion.  Bill Gothard's definition of grace is contrary to Scripture.  Grace has NOTHING to do with me, or my actions (my desire or my power); it is all and ONLY God. 

ETA (10/4/2012):  I have recently had two additional descriptions of grace shared by friends.  The first, by my soul's sister, L.  She read a definition of grace as, God's radical committment to us to rescue and restore!   I love the use of the word "radical" describing God's commitment to us.  Additionally, like the way this acknowledges that we need rescuing, but doesn't leave us there, but moves on to restoration.

Lastly, a dear friend, J, recently shared a quote of Max Lucado, ""Grace goes beyond mercy. Mercy gave the prodigal son a second chance. Grace threw him a party."